Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
