Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
