Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
