Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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