roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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