I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
