real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also, beer. Big fan.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
