I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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