Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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