You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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