i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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