Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
