I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize