You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
