She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
