He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
is that a dick in a sweater?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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