he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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