So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
smell my finger.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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