I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
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I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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