That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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