Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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