I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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