Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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