not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
