In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize