Whod you bang
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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