Only a mothe r could love this liver
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How's work?
Spinning.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
