You can't special order awesome
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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