Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
