We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize