I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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