i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
