Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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