YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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