Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Let's get the cat blown out
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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