omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I met the friendliest cop last night
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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