Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
