Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
