She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
