That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
