Someone shit on the floor
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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