O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
