well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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