so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
