We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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