its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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