idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
