the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Tornado booty call.. dedication
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
