My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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