she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize