i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Holy shit dude........stairs
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
