I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
