She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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