He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
