You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
